Tuesday, December 2

We mourn for the losses and deaths due to the recent mumbai killings last weekend. For the first time, I feel the pain and fear that resulted from such a cruely terrorist attack.

One thing I've learnt from this inccident is that life is fragile. If you think about it, it really is very easy for us to 'end' our lives - whether we want to or not. Does that therefore make life valuable or cheap? I think that question goes both ways: life is of value precisely because it's so easy to just lose it. Yet, life could just be cheap because it really doesn't take much for it to say, lose its 'value'.

Now, what then is the value of life? We read of famous people known in the world with assets worth billions of dollars; and the very interesting thing is that they even have a monetary term pegged to them. On a slightly different note, in accounting, we learn of how to value fixed/non-current Assets; there are various criteria to this and one of which is 'The Asset can be valued in monetary terms'. (Alright, perhaps this is rather out of point but I really couldn't help mentioning this - I must put to use what I studied today. Haha) In any case, back to the point, I will not dwell into whether humans should be considered as fixed/non-current Assets (well, they are...in football clubs. OKAYYY enough), but yes, I don't think life is valued with what assets we have and I can suffice that with a recent happening. We all know of the financial crisis that took place about a month ago and we read of banks, with the slightest chance of collapsing, collapsing. In this inccident, we can be sure that many people have burnt their fingers as a result of such an unexpected downturn in the financial market. Now, if humans are definitely valued in terms of our Assets, does that therefore mean that we can lose our value overnight (seems like we can)? And if that's the case, doesn't that make our lives cheap?

Life valued in terms of our Assets --> can lose value overnight --> cheap lives

So, how could the above example prove that life shouldn't be valued with the assets we have? I think we can all agree that there are things in our lives that add value but cannot be classified as say, assets. For example, we not only regard our loved ones as people that 'add value' to our lives, we also regard their love. Yet, how do you add a value to love? Even if you can, how is the value an accurate one? In accounting, to do up Financial statements, we need to first know the classifications - that of Non-current Assets, Current Assets, Non-current Liabilities, Current Liabilities and Owner's Equity (To fulfil the accouting eqn: A = L + OE). To classify in the right manner, there are various requirements to meet. Afterwhich, we can be sure that with all the accounting concepts being practiced, the company is most fairly and accurately valued. However, this isn't the same for that of life. To put this simply, we cannot add value to every aspect of our lives that will hence fulfil the 'accounting eqn' because the requirements will not and cannot be met. As such, our lives cannot be valued in its most accurate sense. With that, we can therefore conclude that our lives should not be valued with our Assets. So, the answer to the penultimate and last questions asked in the previous paragraph is, no.

With the establishment of life not being cheap, it is therefore valuable! How then are we cherishing it? I hope we know we should cherish our lives so I shan't go into that. The more important question I want to leave with you is: if our physical life is already valuable, isn't our spiritual one of greater value?

I think while I reflected upon the Mumbai inccident, I got a little fearful of how the world now is really not safe. At any one time, terrorist attacks could take place and anyone of us could just be the victim; but should that make us fearful? I don't think so because we have an awesome God that is bigger than everything and anything else. More often than not, we belittle God and make Him smaller than who He really is. Honestly, God is so great that I can't even imagine. Neither should you. Hence, we can be assured that our lives on earth and more importantly, lives after that, are taken care already!

Perhaps I got fearful also because I realized I hang on to things I possess on earth very tightly. Jesus told us to 'take up the cross' and follow Him. Honestly speaking, I find that really, a lot easier to say than to do.

In any case, I believe if we can move on from valuing our physical lives to valuing our spiritual lives as well, we are on the way to being transformed by Jesus to be more like Him. And yes, both our physical and spiritual are of great importance and VALUABLE. And you know what? They are so valuable that Jesus paid for them with His own life. Think about that. Remember that. Cherish that. Value that.


Friday, October 10

it's interesting how a korean drama that i've been rather hooked on has made me realized a couple of things: especially that on love.

ah, perhaps because it's a drama and it's korean that one may think it's all sappy and in reality, all that about what we want love to be aren't true. however, how is it that we know how we want love to be? now, that can only be possible if love can, in reality, be what we want it to be! so we're not experiencing it because we haven't loved the way we should.

so have i learnt? haha, well, firstly, love is patient. i only started watching the show on its 30th or so episode so i didn't manage to catch the first parts where the lead actress, Zhen zhu, had to suffer so much for the lead actor, her husband, Junyu. the flashbacks played in the episodes i caught were evident in Zhen zhu's display of patience for Junyu: Zhen zhu had to carry a heavy pot of plant from the marketplace to the house for Junyu because the plant apparently helped in his illness, she also kept a journal on what the doctor said about Junyu regarding his illness. Zhen zhu was so patient with Junyu because of the love she had for him, despite the bad treatment she received (he didn't like her at first). Zhen zhu was faithful and kept to what she was doing (generally, that of taking care of him) till he fully recovered from his illness (which was apparently very bad). Now, are we ever so patient with everyone ard us?

secondly, love is about the other party. now, when i started following the show, junyu had already grew to love Zhen zhu. Perhaps i really missed the 'hard' times but these 'good' times were just so aww! Junyu knew Zhen zhu and he went all out to protect her when she was being humiliated (because she wasn't pure korean), make her comfortable when she was uneasy with things and people ard her, cheer her up when she was upset, etc. Of course, Zhen zhu displayed her abundant love for Junyu too - she was always thinking twice about sharing her troubles because she knew Junyu would be even more troubled because he will be concerned with her, on top of work and she would also deliver food and clothing when Junyu had to work till late. Ah, love and be loved? Perhaps.

thirdly, love is impactful. The crying and 'emo' moments aside, love does affect a great deal of how we are. Junyu finally got on rather successful with his new job and while it was almost too easy to strip Zhen zhu and find some other lady that's supposedly better in terms of education and status, he never forgot her but loved her even more. Junyu stuck with Zhen zhu despite the humiliation he received when people questioned his 'choice' on having Zhen zhu as his wife (he didn't quite choose to marry her - his mum made him marry her). I think these acts are only possible because of love - that which he remembered that helped him to get where he was. amazing how love can be so impactful eh?

I could go on but I think the above three points are what I've been reminded of constantly - whether it has put me in a dilema or not is a separate issue but it has definitely taught me to love more, especially of the unloved. Oh yes, there are other examples I can state for the above points (that of other characters in the show) but that may probably confuse you as the reader so yes, only two characters will do.

Now for disclaimers:
1. I hardly watch TV to begin with; I started following the show because of my mum and sisters! Trust me, they are much more avid fans of TV dramas.
2. Perhaps I don't watch much of dramas because I want to avoid the possibility of me getting too engrossed with them. Oh well, I guess that's really part of following drams eh? But hey, I'm not CRAZY about the show (or so I would like to think). haha.

And you know what I realized about dramas? They are sloted in episodes in such a way that will get us, as the viewers, to follow thru to the next episode, and the next, and the next... Well, that's tv series I suppose (you would want at least a consistent fair number of viewers when you, as the producer, release a series) but while I think drams add the tinge of exaggeration, there is still space for reality. Perhaps as the viewers, we need to discern for ourselves between what's real and what's just behind tv screens.

Oh well, so much for a korean drama eh?


Saturday, October 4

Note:
Whoever is the culprit to spamming on my tagboard, I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop your childish acts. I am definitely not pleased and amused with you posting as me. Thank you.




he thinks everyone is selfish
and it's impossible to love others but money.
he is so cynical
and is convinced humans are no good things.

she curses herself to die soon
so she will escape from all the responsibilities of hers.
she thinks humans are hypocrites
and have grown so cold and hard.

their hearts have become stones
where they have gone all unappreciative
and can't love or nurture
what do i do?

how do we love?
how do we stand up for what's right
and not lose the love we're trying to convince them with?
how do we help to win their love?

Your Love is strong -
teach me to love like You.


Monday, September 29

I thank God and everyone who has made my birthday so much more meaningful and enjoyable! Indeed, much is appreciated. =)

I'm now one year older - that's nineteen. Yes, I don't feel too good being older now but I guess I take comfort in the fact that it's another 364 days to becoming twenty. So I shall enjoy my nineteen-ness! Haha.

I think God has used this opportunity to bless me so much. I received a book called 'The little red book of wisdom' from Jing and a Life application STUDY BIBLE from my dajie and korkor. I'm certain much can be and will be learnt when I embark on my reading of these two books. In addition, how can I ever forget my very wonderful 23 friends who collaborated to get me my 16gb iPod orange nano! Special thanks to vic who helped was perhaps the mastermind of it all and sheldon for uhm, ordering the nano. And of course, to lydia, char, nat, jes, lokey, james, winnie, lz, shaun, kangwei, jingyan. justin, shane, eleanor, bertrand, isaac, benji, jong, hammy, desmond, joel. Thank you all! Hahaa, I was certainly very very surprised. Haha, and ah, i just kept 'oh shit'-ing because I couldn't believe what I was seeing when i was opening the package. Haha. Furthermore, I had the chance to catch the f1 on saturday thanks to sid and also, thanks to my very dear SMALL GRP KIDDOS who gave me a very wonderful surprise of 3 chocolate muffins with 19 (i think) relightable candles and tiramisu cake from bakerzin (and I was just craving for it). Love you all!

Thanks to the MANY birthday wishes I received via text, facebook and msn. Thanks to others like daniel, glen, adam, reu, NUJ!, ruth, qi yi for ur little gifts and/or cards. And to my family (whatever's left of it yesterday - sanjie, faith and dad) for having a simple 'bday' dinner and supper (we had sanjie's homemade quiche) with me and for the early bday celebration (when everyone was ard) on friday. Haha. Thank you thank you thank you!

Lastly, how can I forget my SUNFLOWERS! haha. love 'em. Thanks!

May I conclude that I'm very thankful for all of you who have made the effort to make my birthday more special. Oh yes, haha, and thanks to fish and co peeps (at the bugis outlet) who made me do the standing-up on the chair with a sparkler while singing and rapping for me thing. hahaha.

Thank you Lord for the many blessings showered upon me. Thank you Lord for reminding me on how I've been fearfully and wonderfully made. Thank you Lord for loving me so much. Thank youuu!

PS: there you go, finally an update of my blog. Hahha.


Tuesday, August 19

I'm now in my third week of school and I'm loving it. I thank God for the chance in being where I am because I see so much potential in me being used by Him. I'm glad how school started off slowly because that seriously helped me in not becoming too overwhelemed with work. I finally studied 'properly' last night - and for 2+hrs! Haha, I'm so proud of myself. haha. OH yes, and I must thank God for my lecturers (with the exception of 1) who are so engaging and dedicated. Nevertheless, it really boils down to how disciplined we are in our own studying. Ah, alright, enough of school.

I'm still reading Mere Christianity. I was rather 'emo' last week because of some matters and what I was reading in the book. I learnt alot about love - in every aspect. I don't think I know enough of it (for I've yet to experience it 'fully') but just allow me to share some.

When we talk about love, one of the first things that comes to our minds is perhaps that which exist between the female and male in a courtship or marriage. In Mere Christianity, the focus was on Christian Marriage but I saw how the points in there could be applied if one is in a courtship.

Love is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. How often do we focus so much on it, thinking that it is everything? We say 'love makes the world go round' and to 'fall in love' is what we crave for. I'm not saying love isn't important - it's essential; but we must remember there's more to just that. What happens when we stop falling in love? That's perhaps when we stop experiencing the full intensity of the feeling. Now, because feelings are really just feelings, and we can't therefore just rely on it - to love is more than being in love.

Each of us have 5 areas in our lives - physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual. All these are equally important but i think we tend to focus alot more on the physical and hence, neglect the rest. I think a reason to that is because it's easy and fast to fulfil the physical aspect in our 'love' for one another. In a relationship, if we are not careful, we can get too close too quickly. Such actions are selfish and self-fulfilling (but not other-honouring) on either party.

Earlier, we established how we can't rely on love alone to run our relationships and we need to look into fulfilling all the 5 aspects of lives. So, how do we love 'rightly'?

To simply put it, we love as Jesus loves. Haha. And that's like, whatttt. How helpful right? I'll try to expand on that. =)

I think we can begin by asking ourselves how do we bless one another? If I narrow this down to someone you may fancy, ask yourself, how may I encourage him/her to grow deeper with Christ? I think because we often get too caught up with desiring to deepen the relationship (and we then do so in the physical aspect), we end up getting hurt and/or hurting the other party. I find that when we work on loving the person by blessing him/her, we build a God-centred relationship and not a myself-centred one.

I believe, when we want to bless and we therefore, bless, we fulfil the earlier establishments - that of the non-full reliance on love and 5 aspects.

Easier said than done, isn't it? It's tough to follow your mind when your heart and mind are in conflict because we want to place our feelings on top priorty in this emotion-centric world. I guess that's where we must keep praying for guidance and on the practical side, have accountability. And we must do that! It's scary how although feelings are just feelings, they are 'powerful'. Haha, you see how we can get all so emo about these things? Yep, that's what they do to us.

Ah, I don't think I've done a good job in writing this entry regarding love; it took me some time to phrase and structure it. Oh well.

Allow me to end with a verse:
May our prayers and actions be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith.
1 Timothy 1:5


Friday, August 15

i'll blog my weekly 'long' entries this wkend
but let me share the quote of the week.
hahaahaha, darn cute.

hantat(my tuition boy): -hits his tummy with his pencil while attempting a math qn-
me: why are you hitting your tummy with your pencil?
hantat: because that's how i think.



i think that was soooo funny.
i LOL-ed and he was like, why are you laughing?
i could only say, cos it's really funny. hahah.
then he responded by telling me other ways he has.
like pulling hair and hitting his chin with his pencil.
oh man, he's adorable.


Friday, August 8

ah, it's been some time since i last blogged. the reason to that isn't due to my busy schedule (in fact, my schedule has been quite empty) rather, i didn't have an interesting topic to write on.

i enjoyed myself yesterday when we went on a food trail of sort at geylang. haha, a couple of us went for durians, beef kway teow and frog leg. i loved the food although i can't tell if they were the best because i have not tried enough of the food from different places to tell. in any case, the fellowship was SPLENDID. i shall not go into some details which might embarrasse certain individuals (not on my blog at least) but if you are really interested, feel free to ask me personally. =)

besides the food, i managed to catch glimpses of what geylang, the infamous red light district, really is. the ladies who involve themselves in the 'dark' activities, although, apparently, prohibited to stand by the roadside to get 'customers', do so nevertheless. i noticed how most (if not all that i saw yesterday) of them (the ladies and the men) are foreigners? that brought up two points to me. firstly, singapore has a significant number of foreigners and the number IS increasing. secondly, these are the very people who we need to redeem - just as Jesus did.

I think if you have been doing the 40-day fast and/or you keep up with home news, you must agree with me that singapore IS increasing her 'intake' of more foreigners partly because of our ageing population. in time to come, singapore will be an even more cosmopolitan society. As of now, if i haven't rememebered wrongly, the percentage of foreigners stands at about 20%. what is our attitude towards them? honestly speaking, as i have shared with some groups of people before, i would consider myself to be rather racist, even towards my own. i pull myself away from 'those' people so i have the least association with them. i realized if Jesus was here today among us, He'll do the contrary of what i do. In fact, not just to push Himself TOWARDS these people, He'll REDEEM them.

Now, redemption is a word that is very familiar with most of the YMpacters. For us, as individuals, to redeem one another, we need to first redeem ourselves. To redeem ourselves, we need to acknowledge that God has the power and is willing to redeem us and hence, allow Him to do so. While I'm sure as genuine Christians, we can fulfil the first step, we often have difficulty with the following step. That of redeeming people, as I noticed myself yesterday, is something I still have difficulty with. Ask yourself, with all honestly, can you love everyone just as Jesus did? Can you truly love them unconditionally?

Ask yourself next, how do we love others? To love others, we must first love God. To love God, we must learn to obey Him. Now, Jesus specifically commanded us to love one another. Is the message not clear enough for us? Indeed, we can't do whatever Jesus told us to do perfectly, but we can attempt. The next question is, do we?

The reality is this - some people, like those people i saw at geylang, hasn't even fulfilled the first step - that is, to redeem themselves.

Today, I prayed for those people. I don't know what I can do, in terms of 'physical' actions but I know the least I could do is to pray for them. This brings back to my point on praying, as mentioned in my July 25 entry. Believe in the power of prayer.

May we rememeber that while it may be tough to love people for what they do and what they are because of what they do, God never looked at those. He looks at us and loves us just as we are. That's why, every life is just as precious and valuable to Him.


Friday, July 25

It's been two weeks since my internship at stephenson harwood commenced and I've learnt and discovered much ever since. For those who don't know, stephenson harwood is an international law firm with its base at the UK. Thanks to Joel that I've been doing everything else rather than admin matters (which most interns do during their internship).

I discovered the hunger for learning. I want to read C S Lewis books, then 'upgrade' myself to read G K Chesterton books. For those who don't know, G K Chesterton (and Tolkien) were key persons who converted C S Lewis from an Aestist to a Christian. For those who dont' know as well, C S Lewis is one of the greatest Christian Writers of all times. oh, G K Chesterton's use of language is CHEEM. haha, I ever tried reading one page of one of his books and trust me, I just couldn't follow. Sure, my command for the language isn't entirely strong, but still. I've only just started reading 'Mere Christianity' by C S Lewis (the preface and foreword. haha) and ah, I can't wait to continue with it! It's tough to do anything else rather than give tuition and work (and my weekdays get packed like that). In the weekend, I'm mostly packed with tuition (again) and church activities. That will be my schedule for another week at least! Afterwhich, school will commence and as of now, I dont' know if I'll be (it really depends) but one thing is for sure, that a new chapter of my life begins. Ah, three years and who knows, post grad or work? We'll leave that for God to dictate. In any case, yes, back to reading, I'm thrilled to continue with the chapters.

Other than reading those books by the particular authors, I think I've recently develop an interest in equipping myself with knowledge on current affairs and yes, politics. I have yet to start reading up, but I will soon. =] There was an afternoon when Joel and I discussed politics and being the ignorant person I am when it comes to politics, everything just went over my head. However, that was when I decided I NEED to know the things that happen around the world.

That brings me to my point on our presence, as Christians, in this world. It's said that we are IN this world but not OF this world. What does that mean? I believe that that means we do not follow (everything) the society deems right. For example, the society is increasingly being more open on this whole homosexual issue and while I believe we shouldn't condemn homosexuals, we must condemn homosexuality. I hope you know the difference between the two. In not being OF the world, we do not fill ourselves with worldy pleasures and desires. I'm not saying we shld therefore sell all our material wealth but I'm saying these are the things that cannot take precedence over God. (I'm thinking abt another point now, but no, I shall not deviate) It's crucial that we develop the critical mind for questioning and understanding (and prior to that, knowledge). We need to know the world - the happenings, the controversial matters, the concerns, etc; because firstly, we are IN this world and secondly, we can then reach out.

The greatest commandment is to love God then to love others as ourselves. The greatest purpose is to make disciples of all nations, which in essence is to evangelise, to reach out. There are various degrees of evanglism but besides the inter-relational and personal level of it, there is the nation and global level of it. The 40 day nation fast is a good example of a wider scope and a different area of evangelism. While it's important to physically reach out, there needs to be the spiritual aspect - the praying. besides praying for ourselves, family and friends, we need to learnt to pray for the nation and the world. My point is this - we need to know what is happening around us to pray effectively. (Seems like I just went one big round just to get my point across. Ah, for understanding and context! haha)

Interesting, I never thought my blog entry will be angled this way. I only thought about sharing very 'informally' what I've been learning. Oh well, hope that triggered some thoughts for some of you.

On another note, I met up with Nuj at lunchtime yesterday. It was a short 1 hr catch up and great talking. I'LL MISS YOU NUJ! It's rather sad how quite a couple of my friends are leaving for further studies and I can't help but to think ahead on how are we all going to be like in the future? We have all reached a point of our lives where everything is so tentative and gosh, whatever decision we make (what university, etc) may just determine the course we take for the rest of our lives. Daunting, I say. One word of advice I received from my brother-in-law is keep asking God to reveal His will for you. To draw parallel from something C S Lewis wrote, don't keep thinking about whether we are doing His will, instead, desire it and act as if we are. When you are behaving as though you are doing His will, you will come to doing it.

The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering whether you 'love' your neighbour; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him.
—C S Lewis, Mere Christianity


Sunday, July 20

yesterday marked the end of the three weeks that passed since the start of the nation fast. allow me to reflect upon (rather, jot the points for) those weeks since i've yet to do that.

week 1.
-Isaiah 58; true fasting
-get right with God; God to search our hearts
-revival of the Word --> to be all hungry for God
-the finest art of prayer is listening
-In all of my doing, how am I truy doing? What am I becoming? --> learn to reflect continually to be accountable
-1 Timothy 1:5 "May our prayers and actino be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith."
-genuine heart transformation
-true worship + social injustice

week 2.
-Christians to set eg by living out God's standards of social justice
-be more living and less judgemental of ppl we dislike
-be more thankful of what we have been blessed with
-the blessings we have aren't our rights but gifts from God!
-warrior for God
-obedience and courage to live for Christ --> to be slaves for Christ

week 3.
-the bottomline: whatever w do to another human being, we do to God
-Matt 25:40 "...I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the last of these brothers of mine, you did for me."
-God demonstrated love --> compassion upon us. are we compassion to His ppl?
-compassion will always cost you something
-out of comfort zone; all for our Saviour King
-Jesus had no compulsion to guard His personal reputation
-obeying the call of God to serve the poor and needy may put you in a spot
-deny ourselves, take up the corss, walk the narrow path, follow Jesus.
(Matt 16:24, Matt 7:13-14)

I decided to give points because i reckon i'll write long essays if i had done the above in prose. hehh. so yep, there you go! =]

I thank God for the chance to fast for the nation from July 1 - Aug 9. I must admit I haven't been doing my one meal (lunch) fast because of my new job and inconvenience to decline lunch but I suppose, as shel reminded me, we don't fast for the sake of fasting. so yes, there were days I couldn't fast but I'm glad that this 40-day fast has taught me to intentionally pray for the world outside my own - and i've been doing that!

on another note, i fell ill on sat from what i suspect to be food poisioning. although i felt really terrible because i practically puked everything i ate and i ached everywhere the whole day, i was very touched from the many well wishes i received from many. awww, thank you! i'm very thankful for every one of ur texts and msn msges. =] as i texted to those who asked how i was doing, 'thank God and the prayer of many.' indeed, indeed.

colleen.
18.
280989.
christian.
pmc.
acjc.
mgs.
colleen.cheong@gmail.com.




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